9 sleeps until...

9 sleeps until our next scan. I felt so relieved after our first scan only to feel worried again within a few days. Now I keep telling myself I can relax after this next scan but then there'll be more... People tell me the worrying never stops and gets worse after they're born. What was it like for you? Did you relax after the 1st trimester?

I also need help with prams. I'm going to need one that's not too heavy because we'll have to get it up and down a few stairs at the front of our house. But the light prams have less functionality e.g. you can't reverse them or fit a basinette. Also it's hard to find one that will suit from infant to toddler. Advice anyone?

Have been feeling kinda weird tummy wise - not quite full blown nausea, but feel queasy often and it only goes away when I eat. Still incredibly tired all the time. Can't wait for that to pass (hope it does). Otherwise I'm happy and feeling good.

I havent been online much lately. Looking forward to catching up on all of your news and gossip.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We have a heartbeat!

No blighted ovum etc. One grey blob on the screen with a flickering heartbeat! Doctor says 98% of pregnancies proceed normally following confirmation of embryo. Very, very relieved. Now for my afternoon nap in the car at work!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

American thanksgiving in Oz, family, and waiting for a scan

Have had such a busy month in November - three international visitors in one month and it's part of my role to facilitate their visit. That means busy days, and lots of entertaining - and lots of time away from J.

This week we had a great woman from New York visiting and we negotiated with her to stay a few days longer. That meant she would be with us for Thanksgiving and not her family. So we decided to put on a Thanksgiving dinner in the office. It was such a lovely night. The first Thanksgiving for all of us except our guest. I especially liked the part where we all went around the table and shared what we were thankful for. It was a work do, so most of us spoke about what we valued about our work and our colleagues but was still nice to affirm each other.

In my last post I mentioned briefly that I'd post about telling my family I'm pregnant. Thanks to everyone who answered and gave me hope things will be OK. Basically, all of my family is very supportive of J and I except my dad. When I came out, he didn't speak to me for several years and even now he won't acknowledge J - he's actually quite rude to her. I just know that he will not cope well with the idea of me being pregnant. It will completely freak him out. He is very conservative and thinks every child should have a mother and a father.

I've told my mum and sisters I'm pregnant and in consultation with them we've decided my strategy for dealing with him will be - a) wait until after Christmas to tell him (mum wants a stress free Christmas) b) mum will tell dad so I don't have to hear his immediate reaction which could be pretty harsh c) dad is going to be told that I don't want to hear from him until he can be positive d) the family isn't going to tell me about his reaction if it's negative so that I can effectively stay in a 'pregnancy bubble'

Everyone thinks that when dad sets eyes on the baby he will fall in love (he loves children) and that we just need to get through until then. I feel sad and worried that my mum and sister who live with dad will have to carry the burden of his reaction but they both think that's best and I feel really lucky that they're willing to protect me from bearing the brunt of his reaction. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful women in my life.

Finally - scan tomorrow. We will hopefully hear a heartbeat. I hope it goes OK.

6 weeks

2 weeks ago today I was nervously driving in for my hcg test and waiting for the results - time has really flown since I found out I was pregnant. So far symptoms are not too bad. Only the tiredness gets me down sometimes.
In one week we have our scan and hope to hear a heartbeat. I feel like I might start to really believe Im having a baby then.
Right now Im just concentrating on being pregnant and trying not to think too much about the baby at the end...
Meanwhile work has still been busy but I think it eases after his week and then we're on the downward slope to Christmas.
I'll post laterthis week about telling family - I'm interested in your advice about how you all told / would tell family (especially the ones that you know are going to freak out!). Don't have the emotional energy to post about it now though.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What does 5 weeks feel like?

Hmmm.. it's a weird feeling being so early in pregnancy. I don't feel confident I'm pregnant because I want to wait until my scan in 2 weeks and yet I am tring to stay positive. J doesn't seem to be feeling it as real either.

I'm having some early pregnancy symptoms. The main one is fatigue - it's a different exhaustion from sleep deprivation, it kind of feels like I've been drugged. I have to drag myself through work most days (sometimes with a nap in the car at lunch) and then other days I feel fine. My digestive system is a little upset, with lots and lots of burping and farting (TMI sorry)! No funny smells or nausea yet. Fingers crossed I get off lightly!

Have been really busy at work with lots of functions. That equals lots of catering which means pre-prepared salads, deli meat, salmon, soft cheeses, poached eggs for breakfast, alcohol etc. It's hard to make excuses for why I'm not eating. And it's hard not eating when you're trapped at a venue and starving. Will have to pack back up food in my work bag I think!

Thanks to everyone for your congratulations. Hopefully my next TWW (for scan) flies by!

Three letters - B.F.P.

HCG over 400 at 17 days post insem (I was so excited I forgot the number - somewhere over 430, maybe 450?!)

Scan in 3 weeks to confirm pregnancy.

We are feeling very hopeful and positive!

Two lines three times...

Positive urines days 15 & 16 post IUI
Blood test tomorrow
Hoping for a nice strong beta this time around